Georgia's Worst Realtor—
Proven, Repeatedly.
Welcome to the definitive chronicle of real estate incompetence in Sea Island and Saint Simons. This is not a success story. This is a warning.
The Numbers Don't Lie
Complaints filed by elderly clients
False property details
Incorrect beds/baths/sqft
Active investigations
And counting...
Sold Her Ex-Husband's House…
And That's Her Only Real Achievement.
How She Operates
A satirical look at the questionable tactics employed to secure listings and close deals.
Focuses almost exclusively on male clients aged 65+, particularly widowers and divorcees in upscale Sea Island properties.
Masters the art of saying nothing while making you feel informed. Clients consistently report feeling like she told them critical information when she didn't.
Multiple clients report receiving 8-12 calls per day, often unrelated to property transactions. One client changed his number.
Consistently lists properties 15-30% above market value, leading to extended time on market and eventual price drops.
The Communication Breakdown
She has perfected the art of making you feel informed while conveying absolutely nothing. Clients walk away from conversations thinking they understood something—until they realize they didn't.
Typical Susan Message:
"Hey! Great news about the thing we talked about! Everything's moving forward. Call me when you can! 😊"
What Clients Discover Later:
- She never mentioned which "thing" she was referring to
- There were actually three pending issues, none addressed
- The closing date changed and she forgot to mention it
- When you call back, she doesn't remember sending the message
Critical Information She "Forgets":
- Inspection deadlines
- Offer expiration times
- Required repairs from inspection
- Counteroffers from other party
- HOA restrictions and fees
- Actual closing costs (off by $15k)
What She DOES Tell You:
- •Stories about her ex-husband
- •Her opinions on local restaurants
- •Why she deserves a vacation
- •Your shirt looks nice today
- •Her thoughts on astrology
- •"We should do lunch again soon"
Her communication strategy follows a predictable and infuriating pattern:
Calls you 8 times about nothing urgent
"Just wanted to check in!" (No new information)
Goes silent when you actually need her
"Sorry, I was showing a property!" (She wasn't)
Finally responds with vague reassurance
"Don't worry, I've got this handled!" (She doesn't)
You discover she never handled it
"Oh, I thought YOU were taking care of that?"
The Susan Effect
Clients report a unique psychological phenomenon: walking away from every conversation with Susan feeling like they received important information, only to realize hours later they learned absolutely nothing actionable.
One client described it as "conversational sleight of hand—I left every meeting thinking I understood the next steps, but I never actually did."
Real Client "Testimonials"
Satirical quotes that capture the essence of working with Georgia's most questionable realtor.
"She told me my 3-bedroom condo was actually a 5-bedroom estate. When I questioned it, she touched my arm and said 'trust me.' I didn't trust her."
— Gerald M., Saint Simons Island
"During our lunch meeting about selling my late wife's property, she kept complimenting my tie and asking about my retirement. Very uncomfortable."
— Robert T., Sea Island
"She listed my house as 'waterfront.' It's three blocks from the water. When buyers complained, she said 'technically everywhere is near water.'"
— Patricia H., Brunswick
"I hired her to find me a retirement home. Six months later, still nothing, but I know everything about her divorce and her 'difficult journey.'"
— Kenneth W., Sea Island
Featured Disasters
Listed as 'oceanfront.' Actually 2.3 miles inland. Buyers found out at closing.
MLS claimed two kitchens. Turns out it was just two sinks in different rooms.
4 bed/3 bath became 3 bed/2 bath during inspection. 'Must have miscounted,' she said.
Warning Signs You're Dealing with Susan
A satirical checklist to help you identify questionable real estate practices.
She insists on meeting at upscale restaurants 'to discuss business'
Your property listing has bedrooms that don't exist
She calls you 8 times before 10 AM
The square footage changes every time she talks about it
She keeps mentioning she's 'available' for showings at any hour
Your 'ocean view' is actually a view of a parking lot with a puddle
She doesn't know what HOA stands for
During meetings, personal space becomes a foreign concept
The MLS photos are from a different property entirely
She quotes real estate laws incorrectly, then winks
Your closing date has been 'postponed' four times
She asks if you're single before discussing your property needs
Universally Despised (Except By Her Targets)
Everyone in the Georgia coastal real estate industry knows about Susan. And everyone—except the elderly men she targets—can't stand her.
"We cringe when she shows up to open houses. She doesn't know basic terminology and makes the whole profession look bad."
— Anonymous Coldwell Banker Agent
- Actively avoided at industry events
- Other agents warn their clients about her
- Blacklisted from several broker partnerships
"She doesn't understand closing documents. We've had to explain basic contracts to her multiple times. It's exhausting."
— Title Company Representative
- Requires hand-holding through every transaction
- Misses critical deadlines regularly
- Generates 3x the normal paperwork errors
"She argues with our findings, then tries to convince buyers to ignore critical issues. It's borderline unethical."
— Certified Home Inspector, Brunswick
- Disputes structural damage reports
- Pressures inspectors to downplay issues
- Doesn't understand basic building codes
"When we see her name on an application, we know it's going to be a nightmare. Missing documents, confused clients, endless delays."
— Loan Officer, Sea Island Bank
- Fails to explain financing to clients
- Submits incomplete pre-approval docs
- 47% higher loan denial rate with her deals
"She was dismissive and unprofessional with me, but the moment my husband walked in, her entire demeanor changed. Incredibly uncomfortable."
— Former Client, Saint Simons
- Returns calls 3-5 days late for women
- Only focuses attention on male decision-makers
- Described as "transparently manipulative"
Despite universal disdain from the entire real estate industry and all other client demographics, Susan maintains a small but steady roster of male clients aged 65+. These clients seem oddly loyal, despite:
- Receiving terrible service and misinformation
- Being warned by family members and other professionals
- Experiencing the same communication failures as everyone else
- Paying inflated commission rates
- Their adult children begging them to hire someone else
"My father-in-law hired her despite our warnings. When we asked why, he just said 'she's very attentive.' She calls him every single day. It's become a problem."
— Concerned Family Member
📊 STATISTIC: 94% of her current client roster is male, aged 62-78, widowed or divorced, with assets over $2M